Kylie Jenner and the Morbid World of Media Whoreship

Back in 2007, when The Kardashians were still a manageable force and social media seemed like an absolute Godsend – I sporadically indulged in the reality show that has now evolved into a full-fledged empire. It’s the modernized Cinderella story with a twist. A gorgeous socialite sleeps her way to the top, and stays there at the dismay of a handful of us who were taught that being pretty needs to be complimented with being a lady.

Kylie Jenner – As she was…

Kim Kardashian West no longer disgusts me – mainly because it is quite obvious to anyone who cares – that Kanye’s better half was impressively ahead of her time. Yes, most of the glory should be directed to the richest and most pampered pimp there ever was – Kris Jenner – the matriarch of this epically sleazy establishment that has been garnished with global approval because money and power equals respectability and validation. You just have to know how to “work it” and I’m sure we can all agree that Mrs. West did just that and more.

Expectedly – The Kardashians have far exceeded everyone’s expectations – even their own when it comes to Keeping Up with the immense success that has been bequeathed them in various forms. Its 2015, almost a decade since they made their salacious debut on E! And there have been some new developments. Kim’s sexcapades catapulted her from Brandy’s ex-stylist and beloved sex tape vixen to the wife of one of the most influential artists of our time – she’s also a mother now. Kourtney became a mother before Kim, and the father of her children is a boozy loser who was too lazy to use his baby mama’s influence to get further ahead in life. They broke up – for now. Khloe is no longer married to her apparently mentally impaired athlete husband. She has a bigger butt and a smaller waist and basically spends her time at the gym while dating more black athletes. Kendall is a supermodel. Rob has been M.I.A.

But the biggest surprise of all and frankly one that I kind of saw coming after I stumbled upon an episode back in 2011, that showcased Bruce Jenner having a nervous breakdown over the fact that Kim wanted him to chop of his locks before walking her down the aisle – is the entangled dilemma of Bruce/Caitlyn/Kris. Caitlyn won.

But unfortunately there was a casualty of that gross engagement and her name is Kylie. She’s the youngest of The Klan.

Kylie has become Kim Kardashian.  It is the scariest evolution since the concept of online dating became a thing. Right before our very eyes, the most famous teenager on Instagram (according to The New York Times she’s amassed about 33.3 million followers) has transformed her once dainty template into the overtly sexual blow-up dollish version of her older sister. She barely resembles the girl she once was thanks to her distractingly large breasts, overly-inflated lips, and heavily contoured features. It’s a given that she looks at least a decade older and her image which is splattered all over the pages of every online magazine in existence (target audience be damned) disturbingly evokes the long-standing mantra that “sex sells” even when the female isn’t old enough to fathom how devastating that reality can really be.

Kylie Jenner Circa 2015

But editors get it and so do her parents Kris and Cait. But Caitlyn is too buy convincing us she’s a woman and Kris is – well, busy. As a result nobody has the time to be bothered by Kylie’s damaging enhancements or her unbelievably vile romance with a rapper who is known for making women do very nasty things for work and for play. She’s embraced for her sculpted “beauty”, and permitted to morph into a confusingly warped model of her eldest half-sister.

It would have probably been a miracle if she had taken the more sedate route by doing the occasional public appearances while also attending an Ivy League college somewhere far from the maddening crowd. But those things only happen in movies.

In real life, Kylie Jenner is doing exactly what she was meant to do – and the whole world is her glittery stage. She was always trending thanks to the now blasphemous surname of her siblings – but after her less than stellar makeover, her ability to garner the spotlight explicitly skyrocketed overnight.

You read the garbage being written about her, and your eyes are fixated on her R-Rated images. You shake your head and pretend to be revolted, but the truth is that you can’t stop yourself from aiming your mouse away from that link. You’re a grown up male or even female gawking at a teenager whose cleavage would make the Nip/Tuck docs tip over with envy.

The food chain of celebritydom now dictates that too much is not enough. Followers are constantly craving more and media outlets are desperate to keep those mouths full of crap – sprinkled with typos and recycled unimaginative pieces. This isn’t necessarily a crime – the reality is that you do need high traffic numbers to maintain your presence online. What’s unacceptable – is the animalistic methods being implemented by online editors to ensure survival.

The fact that The New York Times could conceive of a piece with Miss Jenner, titled: ‘Kylie Jenner’s Beauty Regimen: How She keeps It Real’ is unfathomable. In it, we learn Kylie’s “beauty” regimen as she goes down her list of high-priced aids that none of her contemporaries can afford unless they are budding socialites with parents who are never home. Women in their 30’s and 40’s will most likely benefit more from Kylie’s confessions than regular teens or young adults and that’s inherently what’s wrong with the article and so many others like it.

Her next venture is the fall launch of her very own beauty website where she will hold court and advice her millions of followers on how they can look just like her. This wouldn’t be a tragic undertaking if not for the fact that Kylie is the mandated poster child for media whoredom. The practice of using young people for sexualized purposing all in the name of staying viably current is unconscionable and simply disgusting. Like most, I generally have a pretty high tolerance for uncanny fare but watching the media relentlessly seduce us with the inappropriateness of a provocatively clad misguided teen just because it’s legal and woefully necessary not only awakens my vigilante tendencies – but it also makes it very hard for me to afford my life as a freelancer since my options are almost non-existent.

Kylie was once a young vibrant girl with everything money can buy. She is still that girl but unfortunately she is trapped in the hellish contraption that created her – and all of us. She’s still young enough to be restored to her original settings.

Who will save her?